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Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Everyone else knows best

Current Book: Rereading the Honor Harrington series for the umpteenth time.
Current Baking: Lemon Tarts, Butterscotch pudding from scratch, pumpkin apple muffins

I've been doing a lot of research lately into all the different outlooks for food, family, etc. It's amazing how many opinions, options, discussions, and outright fights there are on what's best for a family. Everything from 'everything must be homemade from scratch and a mother's place is in the home'
to 'easy means more time with your kids after the work that saves your pocketbook and sanity'.

Almost all of them have legitimate, well explained arguments. What strikes me is very very few of them take the 'this is what works best for MY family, this is our situation, try it out and see if it works for you!'  approach to things.  Obviously, what works best for a family of three with two self employed, very busy parents and child who is involved in umpteen activities is going to probably not be the best solution for a stay at home mom with four kids and a spouse she sees 4 days in 24.  I'm tired of the militant, drum banging arguments that 'this way is best' or 'mom is smarter then dad' or 'always have supper on the table by five, and tv is the devil for kids.'

 Just because my kid is staying in daycare for the foreseeable future, even while I'm home on medical leave, does not make me an inferior parent. It means I have time to make those from scratch, healthy foods for him to feed his little body while trained educators feed his little mind. It means he interacts with his friends and learns how to be a social human being, rather then a child who's afraid to leave his mom at the beginning of kindergarten. I think that's more important that attempting to be a supermom who feels that despite being told no, you shouldn't be doing *&^%#, they must some how be everything to everyone. That just sets yourself up for failure and frustration and depression.

So, this is what works best for my family. I make sure there is food in the fridge for J to put into his lunch. I make sure Sprog is fed, and attempt potty time whenever possible. Sprog gets to go to daycare except on 'Mommy Days' where we go do something fun, like swimming or story time at the library.
And we make it through.

Please leave your torches and pitchforks at the door, you can collect them on your way out :)

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